Unraveling through Writing: Finding Words for Feelings We Couldn’t Describe
Growing up in a Catholic household in southern Sydney during the 1960s and 1970s, my childhood looked ordinary. Family albums capture a shy, butter-blonde child, happily playing with dolls and cats, crafting with her grandmother, and wearing beautifully sewn frocks made by her mother. On the surface, it was the idyllic childhood.
But behind that seemingly typical childhood, another narrative was unfolding—one I couldn’t voice. As a young girl, I was drawn into experiences that took years to understand and name. While the world saw a shy, creative child, there was something deeper and more complicated happening inside.
During my teenage years, awkwardness became a constant companion, especially around boys. Outwardly, I pretended bravery, but inside, alarms were ringing—feelings I didn’t yet understand. As a young adult, walking through a workplace filled with leering men felt like crossing a battlefield. Every wolf whistle and inappropriate touch sent a wave of fear through me, though I couldn’t connect those moments to anything from my past at the time. All I knew was that I felt unease and fear.
Now, I understand that those reactions were tied to the abuse I suffered as a child, something I kept secret for far too long. For years, I believed I was the only girl this had happened to, convinced it must have been my fault. Shame and self-blame became constant companions, and I carried them into adulthood, not knowing how to release them.
It wasn’t until decades later that I found the courage to unravel those feelings. In 2019, I sat at my Mac, fingers poised above the keyboard, unsure where to begin. But I did begin, slowly joining the dots of my past, allowing the memories to surface. Over the course of four years of writing, I found my voice. I released the weight of shame and guilt that never belonged to me.
The journey from silence to self-understanding is not linear or simple. For those of you who have experienced similar struggles, know that you are not alone. The first step is to find stillness and begin with one small memory, one moment of acknowledgment. Writing became my way out of silence, and it can be yours too.
in 2023, I found myself narrating my audiobook, speaking my story aloud for the very first time. It was a moment of self-reclamation, proof that I had come full circle—from an echoing, confusing silence to the rich wholeness of reconnecting with my true self.
A blog post, written spontaneously, late in the afternoon and with much love,
Alice
If this resonates with you, or if you’ve ever felt silenced by your experiences, Resolve offers a path to understanding and self-reclamation. Alice Perle’s memoir captures the complexities of sibling sexual abuse and the healing journey that follows. By sharing her deeply personal story, Alice invites others to reflect on their own truths, embrace their courage, and begin their own journey toward healing. Resolve is more than just a memoir; it’s a call to action for survivors to reclaim their voices and step into their power. Resolve is available now in all online book and audiobook stores – take your first step toward finding your voice. If you live in Australia you can also purchase Resolve directly from us via this website.
