When it comes to my book, I’m ready to…
The Hay House Writing Community program journal prompt was: “When it comes to my book, I’m ready to…”. I set a timer and wrote in a stream of consciousness for seven minutes in my journal without lifting my pen from the page:
When it comes to my book, I’m ready to crack myself open right down the middle and let all the words and feelings leave my body. I’ll do it first in writing. Then I’m going to record the audio version and verbalise all the words, the thoughts and feelings. It’s been far too long that the words have been rattling around in my own head. It’s a big step to make the transition to author and I’m ready to take that step. The words are doing no good inside of me. The point is to get the trauma out, and make good use of the lessons I’ve taken from it. I’m ready to shape it with heart and feelings as a page-turning read. I am ready to ask for help to shape it, for experienced editors to help me craft a book that gets across all the experience I’ve got to share. I’m still learning and still discovering since I opened up to this magical journey of healing and writing. It’s a gift to be able to write what I’m experiencing and what I’ve learned. It’s for me too. I am sometimes caught in fear and being hurt by family of origin. The book lets me piece those together and I can share more with Rose and Troy. I’m ready to do the hard work so that this book will one day be published. It will be written with consideration, care and from my own perspective. I’m ready to check where I’m up to and mind map what scenes from my entire life will make it into the manuscript. I can only share so much. I need to be aware of who will be reading it. What’s an overshare, what’s irrelevant, what’s useful. It’s a memoir so it is my life and I can see when I look at the idea of the book from up above, like I’m in a helicopter looking down on the words, that it shows the lifelong markers, impact and side-effects of sibling sexual abuse. It’s going to ease the concern of other survivors who might be feeling like they’ve failed, if they’ve not sought help, is it too late to. No it’s not. The book will show the bigger picture of our lives beyond the abuse and see there is so much we’re trying to juggle, prioritise, get on with, and that it’s OK at some stages of our lives that we cannot do it all. Healing takes time. It’s just got to have a starting line. Maybe this book will be the starting line for some. I’m ready to show my experience of childhood through to my 50s as an example of how one survivor approached healing. I’m ready to share the darkness, the light, the strengthening, the parts that I have begun to open my eyes to. All those films the trauma plays behind my eyes I’ve never shared. I’m ready to look at them and ask questions now. It’s all very real, it did happen. I want to stop it continuing to happen to others and for survivors to see they have choices, if they’ve not yet looked up to see the possibilities available. I am writing my story with love for all survivors and children who are experiencing sibling sexual abuse right now.
From Alice’s handwritten journal notes in 2021 to clarify her vision for writing a memoir.
Resolve can be purchased in paperback or as a Kindle eBook at all Amazon stores globally; all online bookstores and may be ordered through libraries or your favourite brick-and-mortar store.
Check out the latest Reader Reviews of Resolve on the US Amazon store here: REVIEWS
Do you live in Australia? You are welcome to purchase Resolve directly from Alice here. All copies purchased directly from the author fund further copies being printed and distributed to community centres and organisations who support survivors of sibling sexual abuse. BUY DIRECT FROM ALICE.
