Understanding Sibling Sexual Abuse

Sibling sexual abuse is a prevalent yet often overlooked form of trauma that occurs within many families.

Contrary to common belief, sibling sexual abuse transcends socio-economic backgrounds and can persist for extended periods without detection. The pervasive silence surrounding this issue perpetuates its hidden nature, leaving survivors to navigate the aftermath alone.

In my research and reading, I reviewed reports, research papers, texts and blogs on the subject of ‘incest’ and then what I could find on ‘sibling sexual abuse’. Mostly, it was lumped in under the heading of ‘childhood sexual abuse’, and thankfully, now that is changing. Sibling sexual abuse is having its turn in getting attention. Not for the first time, but hopefully with a greater impact than it had in the past.

In examining the social and therapeutic beliefs surrounding sibling sexual abuse, it became evident that misconceptions have contributed to its invisibility. Romanticised notions in literature and cultural perceptions have trivialised the severity of such abuse, portraying it as an innocent exploration rather than a harmful violation. This misrepresentation perpetuates the silence and stigma surrounding sibling sexual abuse, hindering efforts to address and prevent it effectively.

Importance in Lives

Sibling sexual abuse thrives within the confines of familial environments, facilitated by easy access and maintained by silence. The close proximity of siblings within households increases the likelihood of abuse, with perpetrators often preying on younger or vulnerable siblings. Adolescents, in particular, may exhibit predatory behaviour, exploiting the silence and ignorance of parents and authorities to perpetrate abuse without consequence. The secrecy surrounding sibling sexual abuse perpetuates a cycle of trauma, leaving survivors isolated and unsupported in their healing journey.

My own experience

Reflecting on my own experience, I recall the shock of discovering that what I perceived as ‘me just being awkward, shy, fearful me’ was, in reality, repercussions of my brother’s predatory behaviour. I could not believe that so much I was learning of was what I’d called ‘me just being me’. I felt seen, and yet I was also rocked by that realisation.

The abuse itself isn’t the only trauma the child victim or adult survivor has to heal from. That is only where it all began. It’s the stalking, the fight, flight, freeze reactivity that became our normal way of existing within the family home. It’s the parents and extended family’s mismanagement of disclosure. Society and families prefer we don’t speak of it and bury it back in silence. That buries the survivor, the one who was abused. How can that ever seem like the right thing to do to a child within our families?

Despite the close quarters of our family home, my brother’s actions remained undetected, concealed by the darkness of night, the naivety and lack of presence of parents, and the guilt and sin of a Catholic existence.

In my 20s, the shock that I was not the only victim of my brother’s abuse shattered the illusion of family.

I was grateful to know that I was not alone, something that I’d questioned since childhood. Why did he choose me? Was I bad? constantly ran as a message for me in my mind.

Walking forward beyond disclosures allows us an opportunity to expose the insidious nature of sibling sexual abuse or other forms of abuse within our home. That is not an easy path forward and is also fumbled by so many families.

When people hear the term “sex offender’,” they picture an adult.

Sex offenders can be minors or adolescents. More than one-third of sex offences against children are committed by other minors, according to the US Department of Justice.

Adolescents commit 34% of child sexual abuse. 7% of sexual abuse is committed by minors under the age of 12. The younger the child victim, the more likely it is that the offender is an adolescent. Adolescents are the offenders in 43% of assaults on children under age 6.
Snyder 2000

Knowledge is power

Understanding sibling sexual abuse is paramount in breaking the cycle of silence and providing support for survivors. By shedding light on this hidden form of trauma, we empower survivors to speak their truth and seek the healing they deserve. Together, we can dismantle the barriers of stigma and ignorance, fostering a culture of awareness, empathy, and support for all survivors.

Resolve was a task of self-love. Now I will contribute through speaking and blogs to shed light on this hidden taboo. If you would like me to speak please contact me via the online Contact form.

Read or listen to Resolve! Explore the hidden reality of sibling sexual abuse with insights from a survivor and advocate. Uncover the societal beliefs, familial dynamics, and alarming statistics surrounding this often overlooked form of abuse.

Shared with love,

Alice

Resolve: A Story of Courage, Healthy Inquiry, and Recovery from Sibling Sexual Abuse is now available globally. Libraries and bookstores can order copies. Please follow me on Instagram and Facebook. The audiobook is also now available via over 50 audiobook sites.