This Creator’s Imposter Syndrome

It’s guest blogger time! David Emerald and Donna Zajonc are the co-founders of The Center for The Empowerment Dynamic. If you’ve read Resolve, you might recall I spoke of these two leaders and mentors. That was in Chapter 11, The Gift of Self-Love, sub-section ‘Interweaving Threads’, pp. 228 to 230.

My day job outside of writing Resolve, speaking, and advocacy is as a certified facilitator with The Center.

I mostly deliver organisational leadership and team transformational programs and coaching. However, soon, under the banner of Blue Borage Publishing, on Instagram www.instagram.com/blueboragepublishing—we will be bringing this work to people who have experienced trauma and to families impacted by the repercussions of the trauma. All of us have work to do ourselves if we choose to.

Imposter Syndrome was a term I had not used as a way of describing myself back in my years as a business leader. It has been since I became a leadership coach and facilitator that I saw it mentioned more often, and I wondered about it. Maybe, as I’d not healed during those years of leadership, I saw how I operated as ‘just getting on with things, facing my fears, keep going, don’t look up, stay busy…’ as I had as a child in our family home. So I have decided to dedicate this week’s blog to the work of David and Donna and sharing, with their permission, this blog that came out last Friday.

“Last week, I (David) was a participant in a gathering of friends and colleagues. We explored the ups and downs of living and working as consciously as possible, even in a world full of chaos and rapid changes.

At one point, we were invited to reflect upon our limiting beliefs, old stories, or personal habits that might block our Creator’s essence. In the middle of our circle was a “refiner’s fire,” and we spoke aloud, placing those limiting beliefs into the fire. 

I stood, walked to the centre, and threw into the fire the felt sense of my limiting belief. “I am a fraud,” I said aloud. 

It was a release and relief to give voice to my experience of the Imposter Syndrome, which I have faced over and over in the years since the publication of The Power of TED*. 

One overview of the Imposter Syndrome describes it this way:

“Imposter Syndrome (IS) is a psychological phenomenon that causes high-achieving people to feel like a fraud, despite evidence of their success. People with IS may experience self-doubt, anxiety… and apprehension of being exposed. They may also have difficulty internalizing their success and may attribute it to luck… or other factors.”

Many, many people hear this inner voice from time to time. I have danced with a few of the qualities of IS, including: 

Feeling unworthy of accomplishments or receiving attention from others. 

This is a big one when the voice arises in me. Yes, I have been blessed to have had the original epiphany that eventually led to TED* and our work through the Center for The Empowerment Dynamic. But have I always and in all situations lived from my Creator essence? Not by a long shot. 

In addition, I often found myself evading personal compliments because I know that TED* is not about me, or Donna, or our Trainer and coaching community—it is about raising awareness that there is an alternative to drama in our lives. (In the first edition of the book, I would not even allow my picture to be on the cover!)

The fear of being “found out.”

This is the basis of the “I am a fraud” statement. Most of the time I feel authentic, but there have been times that I say to myself, “If they only knew how reactive I can be.”

Procrastination. 

This may seem like an odd one, but when the Imposter Syndrome voice is activated, I put things off because I am afraid it will not be good enough (like writing this blog right now!).

We have written about the “Inner DDT” and the part of us that engages the Victim, Persecutor, and Rescuer roles within ourselves. As I explore my own experience, it is the syndrome that is often the source of my inner drama.

The “voice” of IS becomes the Persecutor to my inner Victim who feels unworthy.

Reacting to that dynamic, it is easy to turn to a Rescuer and numb my Victim feelings. It could be spending hours on a video game on my iPad or an extra glass of wine. I have many ways of numbing out—as we all do.

Slowly I am learning to reframe my relationship with that voice—that “part” of me that exists in my complex makeup as a human being. When it arises now, I do not try to numb or deny it. Instead, I acknowledge, allow, and accept that it is a part of me—and see it as a Challenger. I inquire into what it is trying to teach me or guide me to a new awareness. 

If you experience episodes of Imposter Syndrome, know that you are not alone.

Letting others know you feel it—as I did last week—can be an important baby step toward accepting it as a part of you, so it no longer blocks your Creator essence.

Copyright: written and edited by David Emerald and Donna Zajonc © 2024, with all rights reserved.

As I read this blog, I could see me in there, the me who has worked hard at recovering from SSA and the related traumas. Reading this today let me drop down my shoulders and say, it’s Okay, you like everyone else, are a work in progress. How lovely it is to be able to honour that rather than shrivel up in fear that I’m not good enough, will be found to be anything other than what I am. Breathing out and into the week.

Talking About The Empowerment Dynamic! Please let me know via the Contact Form if you’d like to explore The Empowerment Dynamic in the pilot program I’ll be announcing soon. It will be a six-week program. It includes self-directed learning, that is, a few minutes of online content each week, followed by powerful reflection exercises in your interactive workbook. In between the modules, I will guide a rich 60-90-minute discussion, depending on numbers. We will incorporate your reflections and observations from the modules and a topic related to the modules via Zoom to deepen the learning.

Be A Light | Be A Model | Be Part of the Solution

 My calls to action to you are:

• Purchase Resolve in paperback, Kindle eBook, and audiobook on Amazon and other online stores. Signed copies available in Australia at www.aliceperle.com.au.
• Leave a review: If Resolve resonated with you or provided valuable insights, consider leaving a review on Amazon, Audible, and Goodreads or sending it via email to us directly for us to share on social media or in this weekly blog, anonymously or otherwise: hello@aliceperle.com.au. Your feedback helps amplify the message and reach other survivors, allies, and advocates who may benefit from this resource.
• Share Resolve with someone you know who may benefit from its insights and perspectives.
• Recommend Resolve to your local library, brick-and-mortar bookstore, your school and other educational institutions or community organisations to increase awareness and support for survivors of sibling sexual abuse.
• Invite me to speak on your podcast or radio show, at your school, workplace or event to educate others about the impact of sibling sexual abuse and how we can support and empower survivors. 
• Host an Alice Perle’s Resolve discussion group or book club and invite me to facilitate or participate in the conversation.
• Follow me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/resolvebyaliceperle

Thank you,

Alice