“The very first thing I want my reader to know is…”

The Hay House Writing Community program journal prompt #4 was: “The very first thing I want my reader to know is…”. I set a timer and wrote in a stream of consciousness for seven minutes in my journal without lifting my pen from the page:

The very first thing I want my reader to know is that they are safe. Safe in my space. There are avenues open right now that they can reach out to, either to stop the abuse or to have help dealing with what comes up for them. That this form of abuse is bigger than them. It is so common and so unspoken, it’s sickening. That they’ll find others who they can talk to, who won’t push them away like others may have, who didn’t know what to say or do when they shared. That I’ve a hands-on knowledge of how it feels. I’m not making myself out to be an expert or a therapist. I’m like them. I’ve spoken the word; healed; spoken again – got discarded, became a problem, but not to people who love me fully. Silence is a choice others would prefer we choose. That silence only serves the abuser. Keep looking, keep trying, keep getting back up knowing that you are doing what is right for you. That they will be a leader and creator of change. That they may feel fear and want to stop cracks appearing in their well kept secrets. That they’re not tricking anyone, others will know something is wrong, they just don’t know how to read us? Find the right person safely, open up and be read, explore, understand, heal and do something more than play a ‘small life’. As a survivor, roar out their distress at seeing that remaining small is a compromise they might have made. That they can play big, loud and be fully alive. That they can thrive and leave behind what no longer serves them. That they are not alone, they are seen, and they are worthy. They can walk towards what else they choose that’s light, bright and lovely. It’s all about choices in the end. As children we didn’t feel like we had a choice; but as adults we do and there are good people experienced to help us wade through the muck of our past, heal, and find a new path that serves the incredible beings we are.

From Alice’s handwritten journal notes in 2021 to clarify her vision for writing a memoir.