Knowledge Fuels Realistic Hope
As one pillar of Alice’s unique path to recovery, she sought to gain knowledge on the topic of sibling sexual abuse. That pursuit gave Alice far more than she had bargained for.
At times what Alice read gave her cold shivers, triggering memories and bad dreams. Other times it made her cry with joy or want to break out in a happy dance, with validation of something she knew she’d experienced and had wondered about. That what she’d experienced was true. What she’d experienced had been experienced by so many other children like her.
Knowledge became fuel for Alice as she felt the building of realistic hope that she would make a change for herself.
Not just for herself, but even just one other survivor’s life, if she could bring the best of what she’d come to understand together in a read-worthy memoir. That would be the next huge leap of realistic hope for Alice. Writing for the first time let alone it being about an incredibly awkward topic. How to do that without oversharing? How would she create a resource that might be used for years to come and handed on from one survivor to another? But, Alice knew to breathe out and focus on taking one baby step at a time. That was going to be the key to this recovery journey. One baby step at a time. Knowledge came first.
Alice knew it would help her to immerse herself in reading extensive content within research papers from organisations.
Most helpful were Bravehearts Australia; Darkness to Light and RAINN.org (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) in the USA; and the Centre of Expertise on Child Sexual Abuse in the United Kingdom.
Doing so in 2019 showed Alice why she had felt so alone in her childhood and post-abuse years.
It shocked her to see the full extent and repercussions of this form of abuse in our society, on families and on the survivor.
At the same time, the power of information from reliable sources gave her new knowledge.
That knowledge gave her hope. That would help Alice accept the abuse for what it was and let her move on to explore the repercussions of the abuse on her adolescent life. It helped when she reflected on her adult survivor journey.
Alice would later bring what she’d learned to her therapy sessions, making for rich hours of a kind and intelligent conversation with a wise and experienced professional. It helped Alice’s recovery.
The longer the time between when the episodes of abuse stopped (if they have) and when the child tells of the abuse, as abuse, the greater the damage that has been done to her personality.
Steven Levenkron, Stolen Tomorrows, 2007
Alice’s reading extended beyond these papers to find case studies and texts from psychotherapists, such as Dr Steven Levenkron and Dr Gabor Mate, specialists in trauma, addiction and child and sibling sexual abuse.
Although all of this reading triggered what Alice calls ‘young Alice’s’ memories and trauma responses, and often, she persevered.
With the support of Rose, her therapist, Alice began to let go of the past as she connected the dots of her childhood trauma with her adolescent and adult coping mechanisms. Understanding all of that so that she could make better choices for today and her future.
RESOLVE: a story of courage, healthy inquiry and recovery from sibling sexual abuse is Alice’s story.
Due for release soon.
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Alice and her team are aware that the content of this website and RESOLVE may be triggering. You will find a short list of incredible organisations you can reach out to under the SUPPORT tab for help.
