Handle Your Resistance

Resistance is not the enemy; it’s deeply a part of you. Trust it, honour it, and learn to love it.

Kelly Notaras, Author, The Book You Were Born To Write

During the creation of Resolve, I immersed myself in the transformative journey offered by the Hay House Writer’s Community Program.

Through this program, I had the privilege of learning from Kelly Notaras. Kelly is the esteemed founder of KN Literary, author of The Book You Were Born to Write, and a Master NLP Practitioner.

NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) has been an invaluable tool in my coaching and training work. When I delved into Chapter 6 of Kelly’s book, “Handle Your Resistance,” I found profound insights awaiting me. This chapter alone makes the book a worthwhile investment.

Within its pages, I recognised the internal tug-of-war I experienced while writing Resolve. Young me, or Young Alice, sought safety, love, and belonging. She had spent her lifetime trying to protect me and hesitated at the risk of my mother’s love by sharing my story as a memoir. Yet, the adult version of myself harboured a vision far surpassing my fears. I recognised the profound impact that sharing a survivor’s story could have not only for myself and my family but also for countless other individuals affected by sibling sexual abuse, both now and in the future.

I don’t feel it would be appropriate to write the words of Kelly’s book here – it is really worth purchasing! However, I found, as an NLP practitioner myself, that listening to the words regularly helped me so I recorded myself speaking the NLP script. This script has served as a catalyst for progress in my writing journey.

This simple yet profound practice from Kelly’s book was instrumental in my writing process.

Here it is:

Survivors of any form of childhood trauma, wishing to share their stories as a memoir, may face the very same hurdles, fears, resistance that I did.

Having tools such as this script, or Kelly’s book somewhere in sight as you’re tapping away at your keyboard will help you move beyond those. There will be more. But keep moving forward. To me, I had no intention of not publishing. I had to get to that final full stop landing on the last page. So if I could find a tool, a book, a framework, to get me there I was so grateful for the wisdom of the person who wrote or created them.

Establishing a connection between our adult self and the inner child was a pivotal step towards delivering on my vision for changing the world. Is making a change in the world your vision, too? Maybe you’re writing for another powerful purpose. Yet, acknowledging the existence of different facets within ourselves, which may only come about because we choose to put pen to paper, is a gift to find along the path as we stumble or fumble in drafting draft after draft after draft of our unique manuscripts!

Aside from resistance, Kelly explores various obstacles that writers may encounter and offers insightful solutions.

I wholeheartedly recommend The Book You Were Born To Write to all aspiring writers, especially those crafting memoirs exploring childhood trauma. Keep it within reach on your writing desk; it will serve as a wellspring of courage and guidance. Nearly every query I encountered during the drafting, editing, publishing, and launching of Resolve could be answered in Kelly’s book. For those seeking support, the Hay House Writers’ Community Program offers a wealth of supplementary resources, to keep your momentum.

I found that committing to that well-paced program alongside my writing, helped me to gain clarity about the intention of my writing and who my readers were. It helped me to clear those writer’s hurdles that kept showing up just when I felt I was in my groove! There were wonderful downloadable prompts and exercises. The checklists were full of who does what, when, where and how. I was ticking off the boxes of pre-launch, self-publishing, and promotion activities. There was much I, as a first time writer, had no idea I needed to do. It was all carefully laid out for me to access.

By embracing resistance and navigating through it, I embarked on self-discovery and empowerment. I got to transform obstacles into opportunities for growth, healing and the release of my story to the world!

Resolve is a book written from a place of love. That feels good. I have fully honoured Young Alice, and the woman I have become by committing to the process that I did.

My blog is shared to Goodreads as they are published and are available here at: www.aliceperle.com.au/blog.

With love,

Alice

Resolve: A Story of Courage, Healthy Inquiry and Recovery from Sibling Sexual Abuse is now available globally. Libraries and bookstores can order copies. Please follow me on Instagram and Facebook. The audiobook is now also available via over 50 audiobook sites.