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The Silence Isn’t Accidental
How Incest and SSA Were Erased from History – and Why We’re Speaking Now Through IncestAware, I attended Susan Osborn’s webinar, The Unthinkable: The Medical Suppression of Incest. It was a historical deep dive into how incest, as an epidemic, was deliberately erased from public discourse. And as I listened, enthralled by Susan’s storytelling and recount of history, suddenly, I was back at the beginning of Resolve, back to my earliest book research struggles, back to the moment when I first asked: Why is sibling sexual abuse so hard to find information about? Resolve isn’t a traditional memoir. Yes, it contains my recollections from childhood and the years beyond the…
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The Persecutor Within: Unraveling Family Dynamics
How Trauma Responses Shape Roles in Dysfunctional Families In families marked by sibling sexual abuse (SSA), complex dynamics often emerge, with individuals adopting roles that perpetuate cycles of harm. Understanding these roles and the underlying trauma responses is crucial for healing and breaking free from destructive patterns. Family Dynamics Beyond the Time of Abuse At 25, I disclosed, and I won’t spoil it here if you’ve not read Resolve yet. Within a week, I was being told to not say another thing. Fear crept in for others in our family. Fear of my brother. He was a cop at the time (that’s not in Resolve). For others, the reality was…
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Breaking the Chain: When Writing a Memoir Isn’t Enough
Understanding the Power and Limits of Telling Our Stories Survivors of trauma are often encouraged to write a memoir as a way to heal, raise awareness, and create change. Some survivors always felt they were supposed to write a book, and others were told, ‘you should write a book.’ “If we think we ‘should’ do something, it probably means we have the ghost of a parent, authority figure, or third-grade teacher whispering in our ear.” – Notaras, K., The Book You Were Born to Write, 2018. I wasn’t encouraged externally; I had written a mission ‘to be a voice in the silent landscape of sibling sexual abuse.’ When I first…
