A Step Forward in Understanding Sibling Sexual Abuse and Its Impact on Parents
With 2024 about to close, I couldn’t move forward without acknowledging a publication from people I communicate with weekly at 5WAVES in the USA. For many of us in this weekly blog community, sibling sexual abuse (SSA) is a subject that has shaped our lives. However, it remains one of the most pervasive and under-researched forms of abuse, leaving survivors and families navigating their trauma in silence.
I recall when releasing Resolve that I felt like I would never read a research paper again! Yet, to the contrary, I’ve developed an even deeper appreciation for the healthy inquiry I began while writing Resolve. My curiosity and determination to understand all I can about SSA have been met with an increasing number of publications, or perhaps I am noticing them more now, as I’ve connected with individuals actively working to demystify and bring attention to SSA.
For those new to following this blog, I’ve recently highlighted several significant papers, including pivotal publications from nearly 40 years ago by Australia’s Karen Flanagan. These insights have been featured in blogs I’ve shared since late October 2024, weaving together historical work and fresh contributions to this critical field.
2024 has now seen the release of one more recently published study, The Parental Experience and Emotional Response to Sibling Sexual Abuse: When a Parent’s Most Valuable Gift Becomes a Source of Trauma.
Led by researchers Tova Lewin, Brandy Black, Maria Socolof, and Anat Talmon, this study marks one more important milestone in SSA research. It looks into the unique and personal experiences of parents who face the dual challenge of supporting both the child harmed and the child who caused the harm.
Filling a Critical Gap
This research addresses an area that has often been overlooked. By focusing on parents—the people who carry the complex and often isolating weight of their family’s trauma—it sheds light on how SSA affects entire families, not just individuals. Through collaboration with 5WAVES, a non-profit organisation co-founded by individuals with lived experience, this study exemplifies the power of merging professional expertise with personal stories.
Key Findings
The study, based on survey responses from 58 parents, identified four overarching themes:
- Parental Trauma: The devastating impact of learning about the abuse.
- Emotional Responses: Feelings of guilt, grief, helplessness, and evolving emotional states.
- Breakdown of the Ideal Family: The shattering of perceptions of a happy, stable family life.
- Coping Mechanisms: Strategies parents employ to navigate their trauma and support their children.
These findings highlight the immense emotional toll SSA takes on parents and the need for comprehensive, trauma-informed support systems.
Bridging the Gap in Research and Support
Historically, SSA research has primarily focused on survivors and children exhibiting harmful sexual behaviours, often neglecting the parental perspective. Yet parents’ responses can greatly influence long-term healing for all involved. This study is a step toward ensuring that parents are no longer excluded from the conversation about SSA.
5WAVES continues to be instrumental in breaking the silence. By inviting collaboration between researchers and lived experience advocates, they elevate the voices of families directly affected by SSA, paving the way for meaningful research and impactful solutions.
A Call for Action
The authors of the study have identified critical needs:
- Resilience Research: Understanding effective coping mechanisms and building networks of support for parents.
- Trauma-Informed Interventions: Developing holistic frameworks that address the needs of the entire family.
- Public Awareness Campaigns: Reducing stigma and fostering open conversations around SSA.
Personal Reflections
What I have come to deeply appreciate is the strength and dedication of individuals like Brandy Black, who, as a mother of siblings affected by SSA, continues to fight for change. She embodies resilience, taking steps every day to ensure others don’t experience what her family did.
Through my own journey, I’ve come to understand that healing requires an openness to perspectives beyond our own. When I began writing Resolve, I couldn’t have grasped the depth of the parental experience and that there are different kinds of parents, and responses. Everyone is not like my own parents and how they responded. Imagine if my parents or I knew that back when I first disclosed this. A different kind of conversation could have been started that would have made a difference in long-term relationships within our family of origin.
Today, I feel privileged to learn from voices like Brandy’s, who challenge us all to widen our view of SSA and its ripple effects.
Recently, Brandy and I recorded a podcast with Dr Amy Meyer, offering both an adult daughter and a parent of adult children who disclosed perspectives on SSA. While we touched on many interesting points, there is still so much more to discuss. I’ll share the link when the podcast is released in early 2025.
A Step Forward
This publication is a step toward ensuring that no survivor or family member feels alone in their journey.
To the researchers and to 5WAVES: congratulations on this remarkable contribution. Your work gives hope and guidance to so many.
Reflecting on this year, I’m reminded that my blog moves between self-love, understanding the intricacies of SSA recovery, reflections on writing Resolve, and my commitment to healthy inquiry. Learning fuels healing, and the more I learn, the more confident I feel in speaking about SSA.
Together, we can all contribute to creating a safer and healthier world for future generations in 2025.
Shared with love,
Alice
