From Heartbreaking Realities to Realistic Hope

5Waves and the Global SSA Movement

I first learned of the Sibling Sexual Trauma website via LinkedIn. Then, I found 5Waves.org.

Initially, I was curious about why they had two separate websites. I didn’t ask at first, but I’ll share what I’ve discovered about that at the end of this blog. What I do know is that all their content is empowering and beneficial for anyone interested in learning about, or affected by, sibling sexual trauma or abuse.

Discovering the SSA Advocacy Community

Most of what I first learned about advocacy, activism, and current research surrounding sibling sexual trauma came from connections I started to make on LinkedIn whilst writing Resolve. I connected with two lead researchers—Emma Rees from QUT and Stuart Allardyce in Edinburgh—Stuart’s work I cited in Resolve. Emma was an incredibly supportive ally in my mission of healthy inquiry, and when I’d reach out about new research, she’d be quick to share links for me to explore.

One day, I started noticing the people they were connected to, and I saw a post by Brandy Black. That led me to begin a conversation with Brandy, the first of five co-founders of 5Waves.org—five women who, as their website states, are “real people who have felt real pain and are offering real hope.”

For over four years, I had been writing my memoir here in Australia, reading everything I could find in research papers and online sources, yet I had never seen sibling sexual abuse advocates, only child sexual abuse advocates, sharing posts on social media or on LinkedIn. Once I’d connected with Brandy, I was coming really close to the end of my manuscript edits, and just as I was about to send Resolve’s finalised manuscript for typesetting with the designer in April 2023, I spotted Nancy Morris’ inaugural #SiblingsToo Day launch, also via LinkedIn. I attended that one-two hour event and asked questions that allowed me to make a few final edits to Resolve, and then it was out of my hands with the designer!

Alone is Hard, Together is Better

I had come to a time in the writing and release phase where I’d decided I would not walk forward alone. I had been on a lone-wolf mission long enough to know it is not healthy or as productive as working together on something as big as sibling sexual abuse.

I saw that one of the co-founders of 5Waves, Jane Epstein, was writing a memoir, and I later discovered that she had delivered a powerful and vulnerable TEDx talk about sibling sexual trauma. How had I missed that? After launching Resolve in July 2023, I took a short break, mainly because our daughter’s wedding was the following month. I remember sitting down to watch Jane’s TEDx video on YouTube, where she stood on the red dot of the stage. I was in awe as I watched her bravely share a message that many survivors could deeply connect with. I reached out to connect with Jane too and she welcomed me graciously and put me in contact with all kinds of people and groups in the USA.

Having connected with them, I was surprised that many of us had started ‘something big’ around the same time. ‘Started’ maybe isn’t the word. I believe we began taking baby steps towards that ‘something big’ many years before. I know for me my mission was first written in 2011. It just took until the years around Covid times, after I’d sold my company, in my 50s, to find the space to be ready to take action, speak up, and share my story alongside these others. Most of us are women in our wisdom years—some in our 50s, others younger or more mature, but all committed to breaking the silence.

There is a global movement towards breaking the stigma and taking action on sibling sexual abuse.

Leaders in SSA & CSA Advocacy

Here are some of the key organisations I’ve come to know in the SSA space:

• 5Waves.org (USA) – A vital resource hub for SSA survivors, parents, and allies.
• Nancy Morris – Founder of the #SiblingsToo project and podcast in Canada.
• Ashley Scotland – CEO of Thriving Survivors in the UK.
• Elizabeth Sullivan – Founder of EmpowerSurvivors in the USA moderates a peer support group.

Plus, Jane Epstein introduced us to:

• Jo Lauren – Co-founder of IncestAware, working to create an online ‘umbrella’ for incest awareness. Jo invited SSA advocates to list their books or speaking services on the site.

It has been six years since I began writing Resolve, and I am still aware that there isn’t an organisation in Australia solely dedicated to sibling sexual abuse or trauma that is easily accessible or identifies as such. For now, I am collaborating with remarkable advocates, authors, and survivors. I believe that by connecting on a global scale and working together, lived experience people will create a ripple effect across continents in the years to come.

5Waves & My Guest Blog

Back in November 2023, Brandy from 5Waves invited me to be a guest blogger on their Sibling Sexual Trauma website.

Brandy is a mother of siblings affected by SSA. When she read Resolve, she asked if she could share a poem I’d written within one of the chapters. Reading it was difficult for her as a mother, yet it deepened her compassion for the child harmed in her family.

👉 Click the orange button below to read my guest blog on Sibling Sexual Trauma.

While you’re there, I encourage you to comment, like or share the blog to socials; and also to bookmark their site, share it to socials, and explore their wealth of resources. You never know when you might be in a position to offer realistic hope to someone by guiding them toward this invaluable organisation.

Why Two Websites?

Brandy shared the story of why 5Waves has both SiblingSexualTrauma.com and 5Waves.org:

“I bought the domain siblingsexualtrauma.com before I had met anyone else in 5WAVES. It’s a .com because I had no idea there would ever be an ‘org’ at that point. It was while looking for a survivor to vet the content (something I promised my child I would do) that I connected with Jane, then the others. We got that site online first. Then, once we incorporated as a 501(c)(3) and started to work together on a variety of things, we added 5waves.org as our organization site. There’s a lot of back and forth linking between the two. But overall, siblingsexualtrauma.com is for people who have already been personally affected by sibling sexual trauma, and 5WAVES.org is more about our organization and has general information about sibling sexual trauma/abuse for the general public.”

Both platforms serve different, equally important audiences, ensuring that survivors and their allies can access the specific support they need.

This movement is growing. Survivors are finding each other, and together, we are making this an easier topic to speak about. Silence protects no one but the abuser. Speaking up, sharing resources, and offering support can make all the difference.

Let’s keep the momentum going.

Shared with love,

Alice