Repercussions of Sibling Sexual Abuse on Our Life
The repercussions of sibling sexual abuse on our life, unfortunately, go far beyond the years of the abuse.
It shows up in our coping mechanisms, unhealthy behaviours, and how we relate to ourselves and others. That begins from the time the abuse occurs, through our experience of adolescence and as adults.
Alice learned that unhealthy coping mechanisms and behaviours could lead to serious physical and mental health consequences.
That scared the hell out of her, and it made her review, with vulnerability and honesty, her poisons and weapons of choice that had helped her get by as an adolescent girl, shy of boys, or what she continued to numb herself with into her adult life.
Being sexually abused as a child left Alice with post-traumatic stress. It affected how she showed up in her relationships and in her adult experience of sexuality.
If not addressed or given a best-before date, the coping mechanisms and unhealthy behaviours that are varied and plentiful do unfortunately show up in how we treat ourselves, relate to others, and go about our days in life and work.
Some may say they left the abuse behind then in a wishful-thinking kind of way. Alice would love that to have been the case for her.
It became Alice’s belief that what she had been repressed was sitting only millimetres beneath the surface of her skin. She could feel it. She knew she was skimming the surface of life before she walked towards therapy. Alice didn’t want to skim life. She wanted to feel fulfilment and joy and live her life without the taint of the abuse anywhere to be found. Her morning walk playlist’s most played song was Bon Jovi’s “It’s my life”. Alice absolutely believed that only she could take responsibility to live her life fully.
So she did.
As children, during the years of abuse, we had limited choices.
Our coping mechanisms and unhealthy behaviours were us doing our best with what was available to us. However, as adults, we don’t have limited choices. None of us is stuck. As adults, we can choose to take responsibility to alter our behaviours and how we operate in life and work.
#thekidsarewatching is a hashtag Alice fully appreciates.
Our kids are watching us.
They can look into the depths of our souls; they know the real us behind the societal masks we hide behind. Alice knew her children were seeing everything she was trying to conceal from them, so she stopped the pretence. It was the honest loving relationship with her children that was another major motivator for Alice to do something and find therapy.
As adults, we have a choice to find ways to heal. We have a choice to remain silent.
Sibling sexual abuse must be stopped. Breaking the silence will help that happen. No child ever deserves to be a sexual plaything of any other human being.
Healing ourselves may well lead to breaking the silence that shrouds other adult survivors or making one parent look up and take notice.
What a life-changing opportunity it would be if more of us spoke out and stopped the abuse we had experienced from happening to any other child.
Silence is a choice. A loud one at that.
Alice Perle
RESOLVE: a story of courage, healthy inquiry and recovery from sibling sexual abuse is Alice’s story.
Due for release in May 2023.
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Alice and her team are aware that the content of this website and RESOLVE may be triggering. You will find a short list of incredible organisations you can reach out to under the SUPPORT tab for help.
