One of the most common questions I’ve been asked by those who haven’t experienced abuse is, “Have you forgiven your abuser?” Forgiveness, especially in the context of something as traumatic as sexual abuse, is complex and multi-layered. For years, I carried the weight of this question like a boulder on my chest, wondering if it was something I had to achieve in order to truly heal. Forgiveness is such a central theme in many religious traditions, including the Catholic faith in which I was raised. It was ingrained in me from a young age that forgiving was necessary for redemption, for moving forward, and even for being a “good person.”…